


It's A Hard Life

by waitforme



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Gay Panic, Introspection, Love Confessions, M/M, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-12 04:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19221676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitforme/pseuds/waitforme
Summary: Rami wishes he could have asked Freddie for advice on how to find happiness and love. But because he doesn't have that option he channels everything he knows about Freddie to help him confess his feelings to Joe.





	It's A Hard Life

**Author's Note:**

> I almost wrote this as a fic where Freddie is still alive and Rami does ask for advice. But this is what came out instead.
> 
> If anyone likes it and is interested in the other fic, maybe I'll write that one too!

Rami wishes he could’ve had the chance to talk to Freddie. He doesn’t want advice about the movie or preparing for the role. While it would have been nice to get insight from the man himself, that’s not what he would choose to talk about.

Rami wants to know how to overcome his own fears and anxieties. Wants to know how to feel comfortable in his own skin, comfortable with features that everyone has made fun of for as long as he can remember. Freddie was mocked for his teeth. Rami has been mocked for his eyes. 

But most of all, he wants advice on how to be comfortable with his identity. It’s easier for other actors, who can express love for whomever they want without fear. Rami has carefully chosen partners that won’t make anyone suspect anything, but he’s never been truly happy. He doesn’t like hiding who he really is.

He struggles with it. His struggle matches Freddie’s in so many ways. It’s harder for them, two people from cultures who don’t always accept love that doesn’t fit a narrow definition. Fame doesn’t make it any easier. Fame means more judgment, more risk of doing something that causes people to turn away from you.

He wants to ask Freddie how he came to terms with everything, what made him stop hiding and find love.

Because Rami has already found somebody to love, but he’s not sure how to take that step towards happiness.

He’s loved Joe for a long time. He knows, deep in his heart, that Joe would never reject him for who he is. Just as he knows that Joe would never be cruel if he didn’t return Rami’s feelings.

“How do I tell him?” Rami wants to ask. If Freddie were here, if they got to know each other, Rami knows he’d eventually work up the courage to ask. “How do I let myself love him without feeling guilty?”

He hopes Freddie would be able to help. Maybe he’d look at Rami and tell him that Joe already loved him. Maybe he’d see something Rami has been too scared to look for.

“He adores you, darling. He won’t say no,” he might say. 

But Freddie isn’t here to give him advice. And this isn’t a problem he can ask anyone else for help with. But he’s so, so tired of hiding it all inside. So tired of longing and pining, of feeling that hurt in his chest with Joe smiles at him or hugs him.

He wants this pain to be over, wants to be able to express his feelings towards one of his oldest friends and damn any consequences.

Rami has to work up his courage to even think about what-ifs, about what would happen if Joe said yes or had feelings for him as well. He doesn’t know how he’d ever be able to approach Joe about this if he can’t even think about it in private without panicking.

But then, he realizes all he has to do is think of what Freddie would do. He might not be here to give him advice, but Rami can still channel his spirit.

Which is what he does when he asks to speak to Joe alone. Joe’s already been his greatest ally and confidant on set during filming, so he knows he’s in good hands no matter what happens.

“Are you okay?” Joe asks, already looking worried.

Rami doesn’t know how to get the words out so he says, “I’m channeling Freddie right now in the hope it’ll give me the courage to confess something.”

“Okay,” Joe says, confused. “Take your time.”

Joe’s so patient and kind, so willing to lend Rami a shoulder whenever he needs to cry or an ear whenever he needs to vent. So Rami pulls up all of his courage and channels everything he knows about Freddie and all the advice he images he’d give if he were still here.

“I’m interested in you. Romantically,” he says. 

He wants to hide away, but he forces himself to keep looking at Joe. He’s happy he does when Joe’s shocked expression changes into something hopefully and happy.

“Really? I’ve had a crush on you for so long,” he says.

Rami wants to faint, he’s so surprised and happy. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

Joe shakes his head. “No. Ask Gwil and Ben. They’ve heard me whine all about my crush.”

When Joe kisses him, finally after all those years of pining, Rami feels hopeful that he may get a happy ending even in spite of all his worries and fears. He hopes that Freddie is looking down on him and smiling, and hopes even more that if he were still around, he’d be proud of Rami for going after what he wants in pursuit of love and happiness.


End file.
